I appreciate all of me…now

I am 25 days away from my 50th birthday!!!!!!!!  Can I even get you to understand how excited I am about this milestone???  Heck no because sadly everyone doesn’t accept turning 50 well.  Not sure why, but I am as the saying goes these days I am living my best life.  I have done a few things for the first time in my life during this time, although my actual 50th year hasn’t started YET technically but I am taking the YEAR (started in January) to embrace it all.  I have allowed myself to be free.  Unencumbered by the prison I held myself captive in.  I’m now free to change my hair color because I am in fact not too dark for a blondish color.  I am free to eat caviar because you can’t really not like something you haven’t tried.  I am free to do some self maintenance that hurts for a little bit but the end result is smooth and like new.  I am free to be okay with a few extra pounds and buying the damn shoes and certainly eating the cake damnit!!!  I am free to love myself, my children, my spouse and my friends in the way that only I can love.  My spirit is strong and I am not afraid to say what needs to be said anymore.  Sorry, not sorry.  I am FREE!!!!  Just to be me and for that I am grateful.  Grateful to the people who stuck by me while I went through all the ups and downs of a potential failing marriage, bad ass kids, and growing pains of figuring out my own life.  I am grateful for the pain that I have endured, to learn that in order to grow you must experience growing pains.  I am grateful for the tears that I have shed because in order to grow you must cleanse your soul.  I am grateful for the heartache I have endured as it has taught me that pain don’t last always and that our hearts are more resilient than we thought.  I am grateful for the knowledge that comes from that dark place where you have to claw your way out of or give in to the darkness with no hope and remain sullen and miserable for the rest of your life. 

I am here with a purpose, vigor and resilience to ride out the next 50 years (if the Lord says the same) kicking ass and taking names.  Yes, to live my best life until the good Lord calls me home.  Wasted too much time already crying over silly shit and spilled milk.  Reclaiming my time and that time is now.  I appreciate my biggest fan – ME.  

 

 

 

…and then it hit me.

I am perpetually late to the party. I am slow to hear or know music, or sayings or about new drinks…just slow sometimes but I’m okay with that. What’s not ok is when you are laying in bed and your think about the randomness in your life and you realize that you have three favorite colors. Random…but the epiphany.

So, I have a love hate, well more hate than love relationship with Tuesday. That’s another blog. Anyway, I was in the bed thinking about what I was gonna wear today, Tuesday. It’s really a great story about me and Tuesday (check out my podcast on Anchor; Discussions by Drea) and in my attempt to conquer this thing we got I have to get dressed on Tuesday. Not just shorts and a top but CLOTHES. For those of us working from home that is a foreign concept but it has to be on Tuesday. Yellow – never a color I thought I would embrace for myself but I had to laugh because I hadn’t realized that she had already embraced me and we had been friends for a long time.

Here’s what I came to realize. The color yellow is one of my most favorite colors and not because it looks good against my skin. Yellow is the color of the sun. I love the sun and the warmth it gives. I am a Leo and that is a sun sign, yellow embodies all things warm and cheery. While I haven’t always lived in this place of light and love now that I’m here, it makes sense that this where I was always supposed to be. Life experiences can change our color perspective. I had a dark phase, not just in my choice of favorite colors but the place I was in mentally. It was dark and ugly. Red was born out of this place. Now, red is also a color of power. Again being a Leo we are considered to have some power as the animal and strong personalities as people. Red is bold and daring, things I hoped to be, as I was not there …yet. Then there is gray. So versatile and subtle, bold and quiet. Grey ties the other two colors together for me.

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Why is this important? Glad you asked. I realized that my house exemplifies all of these colors and quite nicely I might add. The thing that struck me was that yellow is in my kitchen and my bedroom which are necessary rooms to have light and love. The kitchen well it’s where the food is…that’s happiness right there. My bedroom is where happiness should also be as when I slumber it should be well. The grey is called gentle rain…the yellow is field of daisies. What a great combo for a bedroom. The living and dining rooms are in shade of gray with red ceiling in the living room. It’s super cool. It is decorated in grays, with accents of yellow and red. I have my soft, my bold and my warmth, just like me. My colors are my personality traits.

The colors in our life are not by mistake or happenstance. They serve a purpose. Those colors we choose as our FAVORITE…have purpose and meaning. I am glad that I figured out what mine were and how they fit into my life. How my personality dictates which colors I am drawn to and how they make my life and my home who and what I am. Color – what’s yours?

A love letter to my biggest fan and critic. Me!

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My Dearest Self.

Hello. I pray this correspondence finds you well. I have been thinking about you and wanted to take the time to share some thoughts with you about you that stand out to me.

I want to first start by telling you I love you so much. I have watched you evolve and its been beautiful, like the lotus tattoo that you have. Little did you know that was not just something to get but something that would truly be part of your life story. Honey, I want to congratulate you on taking the leap I won’t say of faith but of sanity by walking away for that relationship that was no longer (although it hadn’t been for some time) fulfilling it’s purpose in your life. That was something huh? Yeah, but you did it. I can only suppose how scary that seemed until you actually did it and now look at you, all happy and peaceful and shit! I love it.

2020 was a bit of a mess for everybody and I can’t tell you how amazed I am that while you were still in the process of healing from that aforementioned situation, you managed to loose some weight (while others were taking on pandemic poundage) and not loose your mind. You held it down and continued to keep your wits about you. Do you know how proud I was to watch you work through what hurt you to come out stronger on the other side? Girl you did that!!! I also want to commend you on something you probably didn’t think much about but I noticed. You stayed consistent in being true to you. You had some deep and dope conversations with some great sister friends and had some spiritual connections that set your should ablaze. The most fascinating part about that was you then shared your knowledge to help a few other sister friends grow and adjust their crowns a little straighter. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me screaming for you. My pom poms lost all their hair I was shaking them so hard.

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You want to know what amazes me the most about you? Glad you asked. It’s your resilience sis. You’ve been down but never out, well that one time but that’s neither here nor there. Even when you thought you had it all together and tried to let your guard down just to be knocked down yet again. Even more when you thought a deeper connection of sorts seemed to be lined up in your sight and BAM, another false hope. You bounced back, slowly and with caution yet you kept going. It was amazing to see how you opened yourself up and even though it was disastrous, you cried a little well ok you cried a lot but you moved on, slowly again but still moving. You didn’t fall into that dark place that is so easy for you (and countless others) to slip back into, and I am so proud of you for keeping the light on like the Motel 6.

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My constant prayer for you is that you continue on this quest for life. That you continue to love endlessly, (even though we agree men suck; sometimes the right way, lol), believe once again in fairytales, and know that if all that fails, you still got me. I am here to listen, help you cry, dry your tears, cuss a lot, drink some wine, eat some food and when the day is done to hold you and rock you to sleep. You my girl, are my shero!! You inspire me everyday to be better than the day before. You have shown me what being a grown up looks like. It’s showing up regardless of how you feel, its pushing forward when it’s easier to just fall apart, it’s supporting your sister friends not because you have to but because you want to and you are always there to support your sisters, sometimes without them asking (you can be bossy sometimes).

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May you always dream bigger, love harder, hug longer and never forget how dope and amazing you truly are. I love you and that’s forever. If you need me I am always close, hammer in hand ready…to hammer a nail or something. Stay strong and stay true to you, my love; you got this.

Forever your biggest fan,

Me.

The invisible Albatross!!

Oh to be young again. I have so many other ways to ruin my life. So many things I would do so differently. One of those things would be to either not have married at all or certainly not have married the men that I did. That is just the truth of the matter. My truth and that is the only one that matters. Ha. I crack myself up.

In keeping with that theme I have become aware that part of the issues I have acquired due to the failure of the aforementioned marriages is that I deeply despise Tuesday. Tuesday is by far the worst day of the week for me. I don’t know what happened that first Tuesday that made all the other Tuesdays decide to keep up the trend but it sucks. Since the start of the pandemic of 2020, Tuesday working from home has become far worse than ever working in the office. Now, I did also suffer this same phenomenon when working in the office. I would sit at my desk and cry. Not even sure why. Nothing was wrong at work except for being at work, I mean hey, who wants to do that!!

I have to fight every week, I mean EVERY WEEK TO GET OUT OF THE BED ON TUESDAY. No, I don’t stay up later on Monday, no I don’t watch tv in bed, I can even go to bed early but on Tuesday morning…it’s a struggle. I mean a real fight. Who clocks in “late” working from home…probably plenty of people, however the struggle to walk maybe 6 steps from bed to desk may as well be the same as walking from Ohio from California.

There is a running joke between two girlfriends and I that Tuesday is now Troll Tuesday. I own and live under that bridge and some Tuesday’s I look like it. I have to shower and get dressed in order to feel like a human. What in the wholly guacamole is this about??? I don’t even have a clue…but I have to actively fight against it. In that fight I have noticed that I can shake the albatross off, at least until next week. The question is WHY??? WWHHHYYYYYY?????? Today, just this day, I think I might have figured it out. Oh shoot, how exciting is this!!!

While in the “lab” also known as the shower, is when I got yet another answer to the problems that plague me. Change your thoughts Drea. Well, that’s mind-blowing right? Let’s think about it though, no pun intended. Unless it’s something physical then it’s mental. Your thoughts can make mountains out of mole hills, or is that just me? I’m inclined to think it’s NOT just me. It’s simple yet, not so much. I mean just tell myself that today is gonna be a great day!!! We all know that it only takes a spill of your coffee or an annoying person on the phone to change that right? Well, yeah but we can’t or aren’t supposed to let the mere minor inconveniences in life ruin the whole day…however its like that sometimes.

What to do what to do???? Shake it off as Taylor Swift says. Well that doesn’t work for me so now what? Glad you asked. Unfortunately as many of us know we have to work a tad harder to change the attitude and trajectory of what happens after that. However, when you go to bed anticipating that the next day is going to be a disaster, how do you offset that. Think differently is still the answer. Project better upon the future. Plan to have a great day. Easier said than done but achievable. We can talk ourselves into or out of anything if we want to. How often is it easier to.just go with the negative talk than to fight against it and do the pep talk. to a better mood.

So today I have told myself listen Latrice, (usually it’s Linda but I have my own L name) we are going to make Tuesday our bitch!!! Lol. Tuesday is now henceforth and forever more known as Thug Tuesday. That means we hit the floor with a purpose, to be great, to not give in to the negative self talk, to swat away the minor inconveniences that rear their ugly head in a effort to thwart our plan to be great. No No, not today Zerg! We will get up, show up, dress up (or just dress) and be Betty Badass all day. That’s the new rule. No more albatross of Tuesday.

What’s your albatross? Needing more rest? Trying to lose weight? Better relationships with people? Need to make peace with someone? No matter your albatross, find the way that works for you to quiet the negativity that it brings with it. Tuesday WAS my albatross. I buried it today. What WAS yours.

It’s so clear now.

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Clarity comes at all times during our life. What’s important is to acknowledge the clarity and receive it.

Sometimes, it’s when you aren’t even looking for it, other times its those Ahh Haaa moments that make sense of certain behaviours that you may have. For me, it’s always at a moment when I need it but wasn’t looking for it but am glad that it showed up. I have worn glasses for roughly the latter or working portion of my life. Glasses have served 2 purposes as I have now come to realize. One of course to see where I am going or what I’m doing.

The second and most profound was to hide. Wow, That’s interesting right? Who wears glasses to hide? Well after much thought and counting all the pairs of glasses, both fashion frames, prescription glasses, now readers I would say, yes, I was definately hiding. From what or whom? My honest answer is everyone and mainly myself.

How is that you ask that I want to hide from myself? Let me share. As many of us when we have to start wearing glasses we get one pair and we carry on. Over the years of wearing glasses it got kind of boring with the same frames for everything. As I matured and started investigating things more, I realized that sure I could pay out of pocket for a second pair after exhausting my insurance benefits. Well, insert the melodius sounds of the heavens opening up. While no, this was not anything new or profound, it was a game changer for me.

Never one to rock the boat, or go against the grain when it came to things like fashion, or being to bold with colors (part of other issues) this gave me a few options. Then, hold on to your hat, I got contacts for the first time in my life at the tender age of 51. Insert a whole new world by Aladin. Most people get contacts to eliminate the need of glasses right…but no…not me. First thing on my mind was oh now I can get some fun frames…you know just for fashion, to accessorize to the fullest…or was it? Maybe at first it was because I had been in glasses so long I felt naked without them..yeah no.

I realized albeit some hundreds of dollars later, like recently that I was still hiding. I had become accustomed due to my failure to thrive in past relationships due to the need to dull my shine for him to glow (never again) that I was still in that mindset. Put your glasses on to see, but not to be seen. Does that make sense to you? It’s clear to me…like perfect vison. This is true, think about it, when you had a long crying night (ladies know what I’m talking about) and you still have to be a functioning member of socieity the next day, what better way to hide your eyes than…with your glasses on. Yes, it’s that line of thinking that had me hiding from what? or whom? Myself…sadly just from myself.

Why??? Why am I hiding? I allowed my, no I gave up, well, actually I put all of me into someone who didn’t do the same in return. I was so all about being his wife, while he was not that intrested in being my husband but, I couldn’t shine. The spotlight could only be on him, and so I hid. I became instead of an individual, I was “his wife”, with no identity of my own. That’s my fault, I gave myself away. I hid. Glasses, no smile, sadness and shrunken against the backdrop of the falsehood of what marriage was supposed to be.

So here I am again, time for a yearly eye exam, still can’t see so contacts we will try again, and 1 pair of glasses for the days the battle of the contacts goes to the contacts. I will no longer dim my shine for anyone else. I will no longer hid for the sake of someone else pretending to be great. Nope, no more extra glasses for me. Here I stand in my full glory, just me…seeing clearly, being free…

Just me!!!!

New Perspective, Who this???

Today I start this “new blog” as a testament of the growth I’ve made since my initial blogging efforts. Today I start with learning the actual fundamentals of blogging. How it works and how I will go forth and be great with the “new knowledge”. I write this blog from a happier place, a knowing of who I am, past the hurt that hindered me from being my complete and true self. Here’s to me and all that I am going to be.

A Change is Sure to Come…

Perspective is everything!!!!! It’s amazing to me that at 52 I am still learning things about myself. For example, using a different word in discussing a subject changed my entire outlook on a conversation I was having with my best good girlfriend.

I realized just the other night that I am just fine. I am not damaged, I have some baggage, an overnight bag but I put my jewelry box in the corner. We were having the discussion about are you caring an overnight bag or a suitcase. The word suitcase has a negative connotation for me, so jewelry box made it better for me.

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While that may not seem like a big deal for you, I realized that sometimes I have to find something that works better for me and that is absolutely ok. Something as simple as a word change made all the difference in my perspective on the subject. For me, suitcase was a negative term in that is represented to me the carrying of many awful things. Hurts, damages, traumas, denial, lack of knowledge due to age, failure to properly communicate and the infamous red flags. I had to realize that we don’t carry these things once we have dealt with them. They sometimes go away and sometimes they lessen but resurface with triggers.

Triggers come in various forms and we all have them. Right? Who knew. Even with that we have to learn how to cope or deal, conquer and overcome right? Not so fast. If it were that cut and dry we would all be living a care free, no worry life. However, we know that is not how it goes. We should all be skipping about, holding hands, giggling and enjoying unicorn farts that smell like our favorite childhood memories. That sounds amazing, now snap out of it because we know that is not how this plays out.

No, sadly, we are saddled with the burdens of life. Some of us start packing our suitcase earlier than others, traumas, abandonment issues, dysfunctional family issues. Then we grow up and pack our suitcases with the damage we accumulated along this journey called life. Mine had depression (since age 11 undiagnosed until my late 40’s), childhood trauma of abuse by a female family member, lack of communication with my mother, divorced twice before age of 28, not knowing how to effectively communicate. in a marriage, hell I didn’t know how to be married. My suitcase was full…

I am unpacking. Some of the big stuff I left at the therapist office on different trips to see her. They are safely tucked in the folds of the couch, under the couch or sprinkled about the room. I have had to unpack some of these things in the mirror. I had. to face myself and say, “I am not damaged”, “I am not tainted”, “I am worthy of love”, “I am enough”, and most importantly “I am complete.”

Unpacking is a tedious task but it’s rewarding. I am unpacking things that I didn’t even know I was carrying. Do you know how refreshing that is?? In being a newly single female after being married for 20 plus years, unpacking that suitcase is necessary and important. While the term Bitter Betty, may come to mind, I only own it a little bit. Yeah, bitterness is in the damn suitcase…that is just about empty. I want to set the suitcase on fire because I don’t want to lug it around anymore. I only want an overnight bag that has the essential items. Toothbrush, underwear, mismatch socks (cause that’s my thing), positive affirmations and my smile. Dat’s IT!!! I don’t wanna carry nothing heavier than 5 pounds.

As we prepare to spring forward tonight, I am looking forward to spring cleaning further my mental house and physical house. That suitcase may be sitting out for the garbage come Tuesday…

For a change is sure to come…and I am ready for it in all my magical glory!!!

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Sisterhood: Is it real when it’s not on Social Media??

Sister, my sister. My friend, my confidante, my ride or die, my keeper of secrets, my sharer of dreams. Why can’t we love each other or so it seems.

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You do know there is room for both of us to be great don’t you? We can both shine together my sister.

The hood of sisters goes beyond just those women we are born siblings to. I am talking about your tried and true circle of friends, that may include a birth sister however, not exclusive to that.

These are the women that have passed the ranks from acquaintance, associate, friend now Sisterhood. Everyone does not make the cut. For when the bar is raised from friend to Sister, you have to show that you are worthy of that title. A fish out of water will surely drown.

This sisterhood is plagued however by the same things that kill any relationship. Jealousy, lack of trust, selfishness and ulterior motives. Why is that though…why can’t we all just get along? We don’t want to, are we jealous, do we hate each other for real? No, not at all.

Then what the problem is? You tell me…why can’t we get along in real life? I mean we were all team pearls and chucks for the 1st VP that looks like us but why not any random Tuesday. Why are we so afraid to hold each other up and clap for each other. Unfortunately this is a rhetorcial question. There is no real answer.

I am not going to say that its always easy to support each other because we know that would be a whole lie. Some of us can be diffuclt I will not take that away, we can be and are sometimes bitter about life, and ourselves but does that mean we don’t deserve to shine? Not at all. It is my firm belief that we all can grow better together. There is room enough for us all to shine. We should all be willing to work together on this journey called life, while lifting each other up and straightening each other’s crowns.

Reflections of Christmas

As I sat in my house, listening to the quiet I thought back to last Christmas and how so very much had changed since then.

Not that long ago but yet at least 365 days ago my life was in a totally different place. I was in a space that was sad, dark and full of turmoil yet I knew that it was ending soon and the anxiety behind it all was overshelming.

2020 in and of itself has been a turmoltous year and varing aspects for everyone. However, if we do a personal inventory some of us will never be the same because of 2020. Loss of loved ones, incomes, things and people (so called friends.)

Relationships, being friends or lovers are hard enough without a pandemic. Some couple learned things about themselves and their spouces through this. Some of them made it and some didn’t it. I was ahead of the curve on this one and by grace, made some changes that would not follow me into 2020 and thankful for that.

Back to Christmas, which is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. I would say that a lot of people didn’t agree with that this year. If we think about what Christmas really means though, it was still in it’s own way for some wonderful and joyus. Those that dared still did what they wanted to do with whom they wanted to do it with. It ain’t our business. Others of us learned the art of Zoom calls and put that work in on Facetime, we made it work. Pictures were shared, texts and calls were given.

My personal reflection was part of a conversation with a dear friend.

I am a survivor of many things. I am a fighter but I hurt deeply. I can’t control what others do but I can control how I react. I have people that love me and for that I am greatly grateful. I am strong but sensitive and that’s ok. I am an over everything er (think, love, worry etc.) and that too is ok. I am beautiful and I’m funny. I am sexy fully clothed and I am uniquely and wonderfully made.

Why is that my Christmas reflection? Great question, thanks for asking. That is the best reflection of the greatest gifts I have given to myself. To be ok with not being ok, and it’s ok. To love myself in all my quirks, weirdness and in my skin as it is currently formed (weight loss and gain, can’t see without readers, still not as tall as I want but hey).

The best gift we can give are the ones we give to ourselves in allowing ourselves to be the best of ourselves unapologetically. No matter what that looks like for you. Ending or beginning friendships or other relationships, staying always true to ourselves in our feelings and in being true. Loving ourselves first by practing forgiveness to ourselves THEN extending to others (as applicable), saying how you feel, and not being afraid to speak your mind (it may start an argument or a very clear discussion, either way it needs to happen).

Lastly the gift of being thankful for each day as that is a gift from the most High and that is a gift not be taken for granted.

The flip side of Thanksgiving

November 26, 2020 Thanksgiving. One we will certainly not forget. In thinking while doing yard work the day after, I thought I am thankful for some things that were not good things. They were good at the end but they were not feel good moments.

I am thankful for the attempts and failures of relationships. The willingness to put yourself in a situation that you’ve been in before and it didn’t go so well. You put on your big girl or boy britches and attempt this relationship situation yet again…and yet again you get let down, disappointed, hurt and you know…on and on and on. However, in this scenario, its not for your lack of communication or confidence willingness to go outside of your comfort zone, this man or woman is just not good for you. Whether it be their lack of honesty or communication or lack thereof, the situation was just not going to work for you.

Guess what…be thankful that mess fell apart. They lied and misrepresented who they were and what they were about. You wanted to to work so you took signs thought to be the universe speaking to you while, that message was not yours…you skipped the one for you because what you thought was supposed to be. They lied about everything that was supposed to or going to happen…only to Michael Jackson moonwalk right out of your life. Be thankful as that was not yours to have. You dodged a bullet and for that be thankful.

I am thankful for 2020 and all that came with it (in a sense). Now 2020 ain’t been nobody’s friend but with all that we may think we lost (outside of actual deaths) we have or should have maybe gained some things. Insight on who we are and who is really down with us. Whether it was due to finding yourself in those quiet moments when as we quarantined there was nobody with you and you got in touch with your inner you…the you you don’t wanna deal with cause she or he causes you to really reflect and think on things that you wouldn’t if you were busy…in them streets. Thankful for the stillness…the moments of uncertainty because in those moments you have to….HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT!!!!

It’s just you…you are the question and answer. YOU are the only one that can work on this as you are alone with YOURself. Thankful for the anxiety (hear me out) because I (this one is all me) had to put all those hours of therapy into play,. Talking out loud, in the mirror or not to see if this was a real issue or one that my head was making worse. The anxiety that had me stir crazy inside but fearful to go outside. The anxiety that made my chest hurt and on the verge of tears…for no good reason. It was in those times, and moments and spaces that I had to be patient and counselor. Now I could phone a friend, or make a virtual appointment but it was not necessary…because sometimes we just need to be still. Talk it out…think about all the logistics of the situation and then BREATHE!!!! Sounds simple…it’s not but anxiety will have you on the roof for no good reason…Thankful for the know how to work out whats a real problem versus the 5011 made up ones and still, still just to be sure call a friend and make sure even if it doesn’t make sense to them you are not too far gone. Thankful for friends that listen and talk and cry and let you be while keeping you sane.

Thankful for not being able to go out. Now this one is give and take as we found the grocery store, Target and or Walmart a social outing,..being safe and careful…we may have realized that being out can be overpriced, overrated and over exaggerated. Not being a super social butterfly had it’s disadvantages and advantages alike. During this 2020 though you realized that you can live and sit at home and it’s okay,. We all took our chances on what we wanted to do, safely or otherwise but that’s called life. It’s yours to live so go head with your bad self. Thankful for realizing that just cause it’s open don’t mean you gotta go…and you will be okay.

Thankful for not being married. Now this one is a doozy. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be cooped up in a space with someone you didn’t like and who didn’t like you. Not being able to be anywhere but with them…and yall ain’t even speaking…Lawd have all the mercy. Nope, nope and NOPE. Thankful for saying enough is enough when it was said, and that things kinda just worked out the way they did in January before things got hot and heavy with the pandemic. I heard that a lot of relationships didn’t withstand the pandemic and while that is sad (for some not for all) it was just what was needed to see or realize that what you thought this thing was it was NOT!!! Going through the motions only last but for so long. Thankful for not having to live though an already failed situation with nowhere to go.

I don’t like you no mo

Thankful for high blood pressure. I was 203 at the beginning of December 2019. I also had become diagnosed with high blood pressure. I was not happy. I was stressed, but didn’t put headaches with high blood pressure. So again, pandemic, just me, ain’t going out…let’s get a bike. I hate the bike…HATE HER!!!! I made myself every day….30 minutes minimum get on it…eating better (a little) but moving more. Standing while I work, moving my feet, dancing or whatever…dropped some weight. Not off the meds yet but while quite a few folks packed on the pandemic poundage I was able to go the other way. Thankful that I decided to work on myself just for myself.

Get it get it

Things that we could or can be in a funk about, mad about, hurt about…can also be thankful moments of clarity, joy and rebirth. I am thankful for all the pain and hurt that 2020 has brought me as I know that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be and that life goes on. I am still here and despite the efforts of those that lied, misrepresented themselves and sought to cause harm….I rise and I rise higher,.

The flip side of thanksgiving…where that which doesn’t kill you certainly makes you stronger, wiser and better and thankful.

Sir, Please leave her alone!

so look, it’s simple

If you don’t intend to be all that you said you were going to be

Leave her alone!

If you had ample time and all of the information yet you still had reservations.

LEAVE HER ALONE

Don’t hurt someone unnecessarily just

Leave her alone!!

Life is hard enough and full of ____________ fill it in for yourself. There is enough pain going on so let’s not cause more than what’s needed

If you ain’t ready (YES I SAID AIN’T) LEAVE HER ALONE

If you are scared of what could, should or would be. Leave her alone.

If it seems like it would cause a detriment you don’t want your name attached to

Leave her alone!

do it with style and class not being a jackass. That ain’t cool either

If being faithful or exclusive is a foreign concept for you

Leave her alone.

If she only wants and loves you and you alone but you want your cake and eat it to…

Leave her alone.

Let people be great in whatever manner that is but if your plan doesn’t involve making her greater or better, loving harder or vibrating her higher than for the love of God

PLEASE LEVE HER THE HELL ALONE!