As we embark on the holiday season where it has been agreed upon by the powers to be at some secret meeting, that it is ok to overindulge for the next two months. Before I type another word, this post is purely about me and my perspective on weight. This is not to shame anyone who might read this or share it. Now, let’s continue.
As an almost 50 and fine year old, let me just say that my thoughts on food especially during the holiday have changed severely since I started weight watchers. Well, 9 years ago then off and on to present day.
I decided to write about this because my motto going in 2018 is I will not be fat and 50 so I restarted Weight Watchers. Let me just tell you, it’s not as easy to loose this shit as it is to gain it. I lost 50 pounds 9 years ago…took a while but all but 5 pounds I found again. It was proportioned a little different the second time around since I was on some medicine that made you gain water weight and then eat everything that wasn’t nailed down or that couldn’t out run you when I started 9 years ago. Now, it wasn’t for the people that saw me everyday, no it was my great aunt who lives in Cleveland. By way of my mother I received a message that my great aunt and uncle were in a pretty heated discussion and the bottom line was “she’s my niece, I can say what I want and she is too pretty to be carrying all that weight”. Well damnit, if Bea said so then it must be true. So I decided that I didn’t want to be fat and 40 and 40 wasn’t optional were the exact words I spoke to the leader of the meeting who oddly enough shares a name with my mom. I felt it was supposed to be.
Life happens and with that comes ups and downs, (weight and otherwise), relationship woes, family strife, eating more than a serving, finding out that wine is an acceptable meal. Then you kinda admit that the pants that fit just a few months ago must have shrunk in the damn dryer (it’s always the dryers fault). You honestly look in the mirror and well, you don’t see it in your face. No chipmunk cheeks. Your arms are okay, still muscular, a little old lady under hang as I call it. Then it gets real…where did all that back fat come from? Ummm, the muffin top is real man. So…what to do. I promised myself I would never again buy a certain size for myself because I have the tools to not need to do that.
So you get back on the wagon and start the program over. Then because you lack patience you stop again. Then you decide that doughnuts are acceptable for two meals (I loveeeeeee doughnuts) and then you have to have the talk with your doughnut loving alter ego also known as your self. So after some pouting and throwing away of cookies, we got back on the wagon this time for me. Not that the last time wasn’t for me but this time is different. I know how great it feels to lose weight and how I feel about myself, as an almost 50 year old, as a shorter woman with a big ole booty and how the weight shifts when you have those attributes. So here we are 10 pounds down and feeling great about the progress. Here’s what I know. We all have something we don’t like about ourselves. The only way to fix it is to do something only YOU can do. Don’t like your teeth, seek dental care, don’t like your hair, seek a hair professional. Don’t like your weight, lose some of it. No need in complaining about things only you can change. Some things take longer than others but one thing is for sure. You have to start somewhere. The end results may vary but you will never know how it ends if you don’t start.
Self-Esteem is very important and the sooner we learn to love ourselves for ourselves and not for the reasons society places upon us the happier we will be. With that we should also take care of ourselves better. Stop smoking, I know it’s hard but you are worth it. Wanna lose 20 pounds make some life style changes, eat half the sandwich, with a glass of water and eat the damn doughnut. Babysteps, slow but steady.