I was inspired to pen this…it hit me. Love still grows even when things look bleak. This flower, didn’t ask for me to buy it…and certainly didn’t ask for me to neglect her for 4 days. I got back and she was done…or was she.? I felt bad…I took her down and took off the clearly dead pieces. There was still some green and I said maybe, just maybe…there is hope. So I watered her, and put her near some flower friends because I strongly believe that those that live can give life to those who are not so hopeful. I looked and yes a flower…a single bloom.
That bloom is so powerful in my life right now. It yells that yes I am alive…I feel and I appreciated the love and the sun and life of those around me and not only did I push past the ease of death, I am vibrant and I yet live …STILL!! Sure some days look bleak and blue and angry with storms and wild winds blowing…destroying everything in its path…but to look on the horizon…a glimmer of light..the future…it’s all it’s glory…for me. Life…to strive, grow, love, be unapologetically ME!
That bloom is me…Andrea Latrice. I been though the shits man, and when I tell you checking out was on my mind…well, I hadn’t come up with a plan but hell, it had to be the way to go. Stopping my pain, being selfish to the pain it would be for those left behind. Here I stand DAMNIT!! HERE. I. STAND. Like this single bloom…because of love of family (all my friends are family) because of the Sun and the Son, because of the endless unbeknownst to them that do it…push to keep going.
Today is one of those days where I am full. So many things and nothing at this particular moment is responsible for this mood if that makes sense. Some days you just know that your life matters, that someone is still here because of YOU!!! The moments where even if you all alone you are so full of love for everyone. That day is not by happenstance. It’s the realization even subconsciously that YOU, yes YOU are still on the quest to live a most wonderful life and that despite the evils that have befallen you, you are victorious over those that tried to keep you down.
I shed tears…as I write, even when I thought of this writing I cried…these are tears of needless weight…holding on to things because they were comfortable feelings even though they were negative…Today I am free. I release myself from the prison of failed relationships and pain. I am free from my own thoughts of not being enough or adequate. Fuck you that wish harm upon me. You are rebuked and dismissed. You have no power over me…Kick rocks with your face!!
I had to share, well I didn’t have to but I wanted to. I am learning to share things that just might help someone…if only one is touched or helped by the things I do, then I have done a good thing.
Be love not just today but everyday…there is someone still here because of YOU!!!! For our lives are not our own…we are here for each other.